Well I managed it. Up with the dawn and out to work. I was extremely nervous about going back, but as I knew they would be, everyone was really, really lovely. I had my 'back to work review' with Tracey, which was as I expected it would be. She was lovely, but because of my recent absences I will very likely have to go through the HR process. Again. Deep joy.
After a bit of thinking the past few days, I've decided that it's being put in a position where I have to talk about Sylvia that is the worst thing. It's not something I've actually verbalised very much - maybe I should have earlier. I don't know. When somebody asks though, that's when it all starts to come to the surface - that and now that I haven't anything like OU to keep me busy. I know it's better out than in, but I really don't want to burden anyone else with it - people have enough problems of their own without me adding to them. A couple of people have mentioned getting in touch with Cruse to organise some berevement counselling - and I think that's a good idea. That way, I can dump it all on a professional, don't have to be embarrased if I cry, shout, rant or rage or whatever (I will probably just cry), and then come away with my dignity intact and hopefully start to get some of this stuff sorted out.
So I rang them today, and they have a 6 week waiting list. Bloody hell. We will just have to see how I get on in the meantime then.
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